1. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit
a fire in the craft it sank - proving once and for all that you
can%26#039;t have your kayak and heat it, too.
2. Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to
Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in
the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one,
naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
3. A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He
sidles up to the bar and announces %26quot;I%26#039;m looking for the man who
shot my paw.%26quot;
4. This guy goes into a restaurant for a Christmas breakfast
while in his home town for the holidays. After looking over the
menu he says, %26quot;I%26#039;ll just have the eggs Benedict.%26quot; His order
comes a while later and it%26#039;s served on a big, shiny hubcap. He
asks the waiter, %26quot;What%26#039;s with the hubcap?%26quot; The waiter sings,
%26quot;Oh, there%26#039;s no plate like chrome for the hollandaise!%26quot;
5. When she told me I was average, she was just being mean.
6. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist%26#039;s
Novocain during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental
medication.
7. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were
standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament
victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the
office and asked them to disperse. %26quot;But why?,%26quot; they asked, as
they moved off. %26quot;Because,%26quot; he said, %26quot;I can%26#039;t stand chess nuts
boasting in an open foyer.%26quot;
8. A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a
hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his
habit, and would always have the drink waiting at precisely
5:03 p.m. One afternoon, as the end of the work day approached,
the bartender was dismayed to find that he was out of hazelnut
extract. Thinking quickly,he threw together a daiquiri made
with hickory nuts and set it on the bar. The doctor came in at
his regular time, took one sip of the drink and exclaimed,
%26quot;This isn%26#039;t a hazelnut daiquiri!%26quot; %26quot;No, I%26#039;m sorry,%26quot; replied the
bartender, %26quot;it%26#039;s a hickory daiquiri, Doc.%26quot;
9. A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for
something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting
under a tree reading a book; the other was typing away on his
typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the
book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that
readers digest, and writers cramp.
10. There was a man who entered a local paper%26#039;s pun contest. He
sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of
the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
Ok folks last one so here are my top 10 groaners question is do you agree?
Perfect ending to a perfect days Posts!!
(I love groaners!)
ROTFLMHineyO!!!
:)
Reply:Yes, they worked my chuckle muscles a bit.
Reply:?
Reply:kinda goofy but worth a star my friend!!
Reply:ha ha ha funny
thanks for a laugh
Reply:Nice one.
Reply:;)
Reply:Star awarded, excellent and thanks.
Reply:No offence pal, no laughs either! 2/10
Reply:there were good you should make your own website with these thats if you didnt copy them off somewhere
Reply:You need to earn a living at this. What time is the next show? You made the night for this insomniac, thanks..
Reply:Yep, very good - you got a star
Reply:lol i just posted that on myspace
Reply:Brilliant
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