Can you take a look at my poem about candy?

2 poems, can yea plz add some metaphors(:





World made from candy


I live in a world made of candy


where marsrhmellows drop like falling snow


from the cotton candy clouds high above


Walking around on starburst stepping stones


Taking the time to smell the fresh Lifesavor roses


Picked some Skittles hanging from


Green taffy trees


Grabbed a boat and took a ride


On the sugar filled lake





That poem can yoy help me with a ending?





When I got home from school today


On the table was a chocolate feast


Smarties, Carmel, Crunchie so much more


The first bar I got was covered in foil


Ripped it off and stuffed my face


In less then a second I was done


I started on the next bar


I was having so much fun


Chocolate running down my face


dancing down my throat


Areo melting in my mouth


Finger licking good


I was right about to take a bite


of the smooth chocolate deligth


When my mother woke me up


I woke up, and said,


%26quot;Do I have to get up, just one more bite?”





Thx

Can you take a look at my poem about candy?
hey good one....i liked it...=)





Strawberry


Blueberry


And lots of other flavors too


Whatever it takes


To get me out of this blues....





Far away I%26#039;m sailing


Into a dream, where you%26#039;re always failing


It could just be me


No it%26#039;s not


It%26#039;s what I see...


hope this helps....well I am very poor at grammar though...



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