Legitimate Hemp USES
FOSSIL FUEL ADDITIVE (Hemp vs. ethanol)
Hemp makes the burning of gasoline much cleaner. Hemp is a renewable and sustainable product.
BIO-FUEL/FOSSIL-FUEL ALTERNATIVE (Hemp vs. Fossil Fuel)
Hemp can be converted to a clean burning easily renewable fuel source for cars, factories and home.
FINE LINNEN (Hemp vs. Cotton)
1 Acre of hemp yeilds equal to 3 acres of cotton and converts 3 X as much Co2 into Oxygen, scrubbing the environment. Refined Hemp cloth is cooler, lighter and more comfortable than cotton clothing. Polyester and rayon produce toxic chemicals during manufacture.
FOOD PROUDCTS (Hemp vs. Organics)
Hemp seeds can be used to make many different types of food because they are high in Carbohydrates and Protein.
BUILDING MATERIALS, PAPER, PULP (Hemp vs. Cutting Down Trees)
Hemp paper lasts longer and does not create toxic byproducts. Composite fiber building materials are lighter and stronger than wood and no trees are hurt in the process
Why have we NOT leagalized Hemp as a renewable and sustainable natural resource, to help offset Global Warming
ok first and foremost. iono who taught u ppl this but hemp cannot be smoked. even if u found some way of smoking the dam thing u CANT GET HIGH OFF IT in fact hemp contains cannabinoid which blocks off marijuanas %26quot;high%26quot; effects. its just these tree, cotton, and pharmaceutical dumbnuts who label hemp as a %26quot;drug%26quot; because they know the huge benefits of hemp (as listed by cyphercash) and if its in the market it will hurt their industry BADLY so they had the government place a ban on the crop and justify it by comparing it to marijuana then they can become multi billionaires. so basicly it wasnt their %26quot;concern%26quot; for the public, its just to simply make money, LOTS of it no matter the terrible environmental effects we face today in which im pretty sure they knew about long ago.
Reply:Someone said people ignore how hemp would be such a good renewable resource,and say even intelligent people. If people are ignoring facts and going off stigmas they are not intelligent people. Report It
Reply:I just watched the movie Hemp Revolution. According to them, it was a conspiracy with DuPont chemicals because they were introducing their plastic and vinyl products, and industrial production of hemp would have been too strong of a competition. William Hearst, the newspaper publisher, had interest in making money off of his timber, and hemp was also a strong competitor for paper. So Hearst started creating propaganda against Marijuana.
Then the Marihuana Tax Act of 1937 was passed, some believe to give the federal agents a job after Prohibition was lifted. Originally, marijuana was not outlawed, just heavily taxed, putting the competition out of business. The congressmen didn%26#039;t realize that hemp and marijuana were the same thing, so the story goes.
Hemp has been written out of history as one of the major cash crops of the U.S.
The reason it is still outlawed is just ignorance, plus the fear that being stoned will be the downfall of our society, although THC can be eliminated from industrial hemp.
Reply:For the same reasons we can not kick our oil habit. Money! There is too much money in other commodities and the distribution systems they have developed over time. Unfortunately Johny tree cutter is not going to start harvesting hemp and cotton growers are not going to start growing it. And heaven forbid someone might smoke it.
Reply:The only reason we don%26#039;t use hemp is because people abuse our ability by taking it and smoking it. If people stopped smoking, then we%26#039;d be able to use hemp.
Reply:I know that people can purchase products made from hemp but typically, those products are imported into the US from Canada as well as other countries. Current federal law as well as DEA guidelines would require 0.00 percent THC in the hemp. It can%26#039;t even have a quadrillionth of a percent of THC or they consider it as cannabis.
Reply:Because the right-wing religious nuts (including the one in the White Hous) KNOW ITS AN EVIL DRUG!
Reply:Because someone would smoke-up all the profits
Reply:Hemp IS legal, just not to smoke.
I buy many things made from hemp . . . from clothing to soap to food. Unfortunately, there are so many stigmas placed on the hemp plant that it is often ignored, even by the most (seemingly) intelligent of people.
Then, you also have to take into consideration how people in today%26#039;s world have turned away from plants to help them. They seem to believe that artificial is the way to go. I find that variousu plants work much better at healing and maintaining health than any medication, yet these things are looked down upon because %26quot;looking to plants for aid is primative%26quot;.
Personally, I think most of the world is just too stuck up to realize that there are better ways to live.
beauty quotes
Monday, April 13, 2009
Do you know?
I live out in the country, and a friend and I were fishing, he heard a bird call, we both knew it was a quail. Then he said did you know that that call is because the birds are trying to find each other because they got separated, and I knew that that%26#039;s why but then we got talking more. He said he knew some people that didn%26#039;t know where milk came from and I also saw a commercial for the LA county fair or something and it started out with some girls in a store. They were talking about what the clothes were made of, one was like oh it%26#039;s cotton, and they were like, oh is that from a cow. It was a rediculous commercial, but are there actually people out there who don%26#039;t know where milk comes from, and who don%26#039;t know what cotton is from, or that pineapples don%26#039;t grow on trees?
Do you know?
You are so right.
Some young people today do not know where milk comes from......
This subject was on talkback radio in Australia yesterday.
l was truly amazed at how little school kids know today.....
lt is somewhat mind boggling.
Oh...bring back the times of yesteryear...............as this current age today of the younger generation........they do not seem to learn the basics.........
Reply:yeah they%26#039;re called idiots
Reply:Yea I know it, it%26#039;s kinda sad, where were they in school? Asleep?
Reply:42...
Reply:to many things taken for granted and people just don%26#039;t care.
Reply:Yea, those people are idiots
Reply:yeh, there are many morons out there
Reply:i guess so if you%26#039;re never taught to know that...
skin color charts
Do you know?
You are so right.
Some young people today do not know where milk comes from......
This subject was on talkback radio in Australia yesterday.
l was truly amazed at how little school kids know today.....
lt is somewhat mind boggling.
Oh...bring back the times of yesteryear...............as this current age today of the younger generation........they do not seem to learn the basics.........
Reply:yeah they%26#039;re called idiots
Reply:Yea I know it, it%26#039;s kinda sad, where were they in school? Asleep?
Reply:42...
Reply:to many things taken for granted and people just don%26#039;t care.
Reply:Yea, those people are idiots
Reply:yeh, there are many morons out there
Reply:i guess so if you%26#039;re never taught to know that...
skin color charts
Clouds shooting upwards?
When flying, I notice clouds shoot upwards and look like upside down trees in single spots instead of being cotton ball oval-like. Why is this?
Clouds shooting upwards?
Those are man-made clouds, probably from some siginificant source of evaporating water, like putting out a fire. You see that a lot in a forest fire.
Reply:Also, sometimes when clouds are rapidly forming, such as during a powerful storm, moving air can push clouds upwards as the air rises. Its the same thing that can occur during a tornado, when cold air rushes to the ground, and warm air rushes up to take its place - it takes the clouds with it...
Reply:You are witnessing convection in an unstable atmosphere when you see that. Warm moist air from lower levels is rising into very cold air, and shoots upward until it reaches ambient air that is no longer colder than that %26quot;parcel%26quot; of air that is rising (i.e., the level where equilibrium occurs). The key is the moisture, because as condensation occurs, latent heat is released, further %26quot;fueling%26quot; the instability. If many factors are JUST right, one or more of those towering cumulus (cumuli?) can become a mature, tornadic supercell.
Dan, tornadoes have little to do with cold air downdrafts (other than at the rear flank of a supercell...which can enhance the vorticity...but that%26#039;s way too complicated to get into here...). Tornadoes occur mostly because of the vaccuum created at a storm%26#039;s base from the updraft within the storm%26#039;s mesocyclone. The updraft is the result of warm air rising through cold. The air at upper levels has no %26quot;need%26quot; to be %26quot;replaced%26quot;, though I notice many people seem to have that misunderstanding.
Reply:the clouds that a puffy on top like that, (look like popcorn with a flat bottom) are caused by convection. whaen the air rises into the clouds (updrafts) it gives the clouds energy causing it to get larger. making them look puffy. If the cloud gets large enough the top of the cloud can actually get flat by hitting extremely high winds in the next atmosphere.
The order usualy goes, cumulus clouds, single clouds. cumulocongestous (larger more %26quot;congested%26quot; cumulus clouds)
then cumulonimbus clouds which are the thunderstorms. that is how a single cloud can develop into a thunderstorm, if there is enough convection.
her are some pictures
cumulus clouds
http://www.erin.utoronto.ca/~w3gibo/imag...
cumulocongestous
http://home.moravian.edu/users/phys/mejj...
cumulonimbus
http://www.ece.fr/~rozanc/foudre/images/...
http://www.stchas.edu/faculty/ewilson/Ph...
all of these formations are due to convection though. warm rir rises, cooler air sinks
good luck hope this helps you =)
finance
Clouds shooting upwards?
Those are man-made clouds, probably from some siginificant source of evaporating water, like putting out a fire. You see that a lot in a forest fire.
Reply:Also, sometimes when clouds are rapidly forming, such as during a powerful storm, moving air can push clouds upwards as the air rises. Its the same thing that can occur during a tornado, when cold air rushes to the ground, and warm air rushes up to take its place - it takes the clouds with it...
Reply:You are witnessing convection in an unstable atmosphere when you see that. Warm moist air from lower levels is rising into very cold air, and shoots upward until it reaches ambient air that is no longer colder than that %26quot;parcel%26quot; of air that is rising (i.e., the level where equilibrium occurs). The key is the moisture, because as condensation occurs, latent heat is released, further %26quot;fueling%26quot; the instability. If many factors are JUST right, one or more of those towering cumulus (cumuli?) can become a mature, tornadic supercell.
Dan, tornadoes have little to do with cold air downdrafts (other than at the rear flank of a supercell...which can enhance the vorticity...but that%26#039;s way too complicated to get into here...). Tornadoes occur mostly because of the vaccuum created at a storm%26#039;s base from the updraft within the storm%26#039;s mesocyclone. The updraft is the result of warm air rising through cold. The air at upper levels has no %26quot;need%26quot; to be %26quot;replaced%26quot;, though I notice many people seem to have that misunderstanding.
Reply:the clouds that a puffy on top like that, (look like popcorn with a flat bottom) are caused by convection. whaen the air rises into the clouds (updrafts) it gives the clouds energy causing it to get larger. making them look puffy. If the cloud gets large enough the top of the cloud can actually get flat by hitting extremely high winds in the next atmosphere.
The order usualy goes, cumulus clouds, single clouds. cumulocongestous (larger more %26quot;congested%26quot; cumulus clouds)
then cumulonimbus clouds which are the thunderstorms. that is how a single cloud can develop into a thunderstorm, if there is enough convection.
her are some pictures
cumulus clouds
http://www.erin.utoronto.ca/~w3gibo/imag...
cumulocongestous
http://home.moravian.edu/users/phys/mejj...
cumulonimbus
http://www.ece.fr/~rozanc/foudre/images/...
http://www.stchas.edu/faculty/ewilson/Ph...
all of these formations are due to convection though. warm rir rises, cooler air sinks
good luck hope this helps you =)
finance
Help ASAP! I found a mourning dove egg and Im looking online for what to feed it if it hatches. PLEASE HELP!?
Okay, I found a mourning dove egg on my front lawn under a huge tree. I can%26#039;t seem to find the nest and I didn%26#039;t want it to get killed on the lawn. I have it on a heat pad in a little cup with some tissues and cotton. When I looked at it under a light I see spider veins and a dark spot in the middle. The air sacs are in tact and the egg looks great! I know it%26#039;s illegal to keep the egg and what not, so don%26#039;t tell me about it. I just wan%26#039;t to try keep it alive until I can contact my local wildlife shelter. I just want to know if anyone know%26#039;s a recipe for the dove%26#039;s milk if it does hatch, or any other information about it. Thanks a bunch.
Help ASAP! I found a mourning dove egg and Im looking online for what to feed it if it hatches. PLEASE HELP!?
First things first--you don%26#039;t need to worry about it hatching in the next 24-48 hours if you are taking care of it until you can get it to the wildlife rehabilitation center. From what I%26#039;ve heard, it%26#039;s about 6 days to 8 days old, and they hatch in about 14-16 days. You have plenty of time to get it to a shelter.
What, however, you do need to worry about is the temperature and humidity levels. Place the egg in a tupperware container with sand, if possible, if not possible, cotton will do fine as the surface. Mist the area to make it humid and place the heating pad under that. Eggs need rotating every 1.5--2 hours--including getting up at night to shift them. If you don%26#039;t rotate them, the yolk/embryo will stick to one side of the eggshell and won%26#039;t survive. I can%26#039;t give you the exact temperature/humidity levels, but try to keep it moist and heated. This is like a home-made incubator.
Overall, if you can get the egg to the shelter within the next 24 hours, it should be okay.
Best of luck,
Phoenix
Reply:You can%26#039;t keep it. You have to tube feed doves (which involves shoving a tube down their throats every 15 mins and if you do it wrong you will kill it).
Take him/her to an animal rehabber
Reply:it wont hatch unless it has its mother or incubator and you CANT make dove milk you should have left the egg in the tree where you found it the mother is probably looking for her baby
Reply:It really depends on how long it was on the ground. The chick inside needs to keep warm and if the egg got cold for a period of time then the chick inside died.
Reply:don%26#039;t feed it Rice.
Feed it bird food, go to ur pet store and getz some,
or if ur 2 laZ then just give it some bread.../ ROTI (if u have som)
makeup tips
Help ASAP! I found a mourning dove egg and Im looking online for what to feed it if it hatches. PLEASE HELP!?
First things first--you don%26#039;t need to worry about it hatching in the next 24-48 hours if you are taking care of it until you can get it to the wildlife rehabilitation center. From what I%26#039;ve heard, it%26#039;s about 6 days to 8 days old, and they hatch in about 14-16 days. You have plenty of time to get it to a shelter.
What, however, you do need to worry about is the temperature and humidity levels. Place the egg in a tupperware container with sand, if possible, if not possible, cotton will do fine as the surface. Mist the area to make it humid and place the heating pad under that. Eggs need rotating every 1.5--2 hours--including getting up at night to shift them. If you don%26#039;t rotate them, the yolk/embryo will stick to one side of the eggshell and won%26#039;t survive. I can%26#039;t give you the exact temperature/humidity levels, but try to keep it moist and heated. This is like a home-made incubator.
Overall, if you can get the egg to the shelter within the next 24 hours, it should be okay.
Best of luck,
Phoenix
Reply:You can%26#039;t keep it. You have to tube feed doves (which involves shoving a tube down their throats every 15 mins and if you do it wrong you will kill it).
Take him/her to an animal rehabber
Reply:it wont hatch unless it has its mother or incubator and you CANT make dove milk you should have left the egg in the tree where you found it the mother is probably looking for her baby
Reply:It really depends on how long it was on the ground. The chick inside needs to keep warm and if the egg got cold for a period of time then the chick inside died.
Reply:don%26#039;t feed it Rice.
Feed it bird food, go to ur pet store and getz some,
or if ur 2 laZ then just give it some bread.../ ROTI (if u have som)
makeup tips
Naughty one liners?
Q. Do you know what the square root of 69 is?
A. Ate something. (8.xxxxxxx....)
Q. But do you know what 6.9 is?
A. A good thing screwed up by a period.
Q. Did you hear about the new %26quot;morning after%26quot; pill for men?
A. It changes their blood type.
Q. What do Lifesavers do that a man can%26#039;t?
A. Come in eight flavors.
Q. What do cow pies and cowgirls have in common?
A. The older they get the easier they are to pick up.
Q. How can you tell a Sumo wrestler from a feminist?
A. A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.
Q. What%26#039;s six inches long that women love?
A. Folding money.
Q. What is the difference between erotic and kinky?
A. Erotic is using a feather....kinky is using the whole chicken.
Q. What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A. One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with.... the other is used to carry groceries.
Q. What is the new gay website address?
A. c : enter ### (see colon enter pound pound pound).
Q. What is the new O.J. website address?
A. slash slash backslash escape.
Q. What do gay men refer to hemorrhoids as?
A. Speed bumps.
Q. What%26#039;s got four legs and one arm?
A. A Rottweiler.
Q. How can you tell if your girlfriend%26#039;s frigid?
A. When you open her legs the lights go on.
Q. When does a cub become a boy scout?
A. When he eats his first Brownie.
Q. How does a Scotsman find a sheep in tall grass?
A. Very satisfying.
Q. Did you hear about the 150 lb. man who had 75 lb. testicles?
A. He was half nuts!!!
Q. What do you call a blonde grabbing at air?
A. Collecting her thoughts.
Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A: Ask your mom.
Q: How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A: Wiped his ***.
Q: How can you tell if you%26#039;re at a bulimic bachelor party?
A: The cake jumps out of the girl.
Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
A: Full.
Q: What%26#039;s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
A: Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
Q: How is a woman like a condom?
A: Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
Q: What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?
A: By the time you%26#039;re finished with the breast and thighs, all you have
left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
Q: How are tornadoes and marriage alike?
A: They both begin with a lot of sucking and blowing, and in the end you
lose your house.
Q: Why doesn%26#039;t Mexico have an Olympic team?
A: Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S.
Q: What%26#039;s the difference between love, true love and showing off?
A: Spitting, swallowing and gargling.
Q: What do you call two skunks that are 69ing?
A: Odor eaters
Q: Why do men name their penis?
A: They like to be on a first name basis with the one making most of
their decisions.
Q: What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
A: Snowballs.
Q: Why do women have vaginas?
A: So men will talk to them.
Q: Why do only 30% of men get into Heaven?
A: If it were more, it would be Hell.
Q: What is the new gay website address?
A: c : enter # # #
Q: Why do men like big **** and tight pussy?
A: Because they%26#039;ve got big mouths and little *****.
Q: What is the difference between ooooooh and aaaaaaah?
A: About three inches.
Q: Why don%26#039;t women have any brains?
A: Because they don%26#039;t have penises to keep them in.
Q: What two things in the air can make a women pregnant?
A: Her feet!
Q: What is the difference between a geneologist and a gynecologist?
A: A geneologist looks up your family tree and a gynecologist looks up your bush.
Q: Why can%26#039;t Miss Piggy count to 70?
A: Because she gets a frog in her throat at 69.
Q: Why did the bald man cut holes in his pockets?
A: So he could run his fingers through his hair.
Q: Whats the difference between a microwave and a woman.
A: A microwave doesn%26#039;t scream when you put a piece of meat in it.
Q: What do elephants use for tampons?
A: Sheep.
Q: Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A: A different bar.
Q: Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
A: They named him Sum Ting Wong.
Q: What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A: A speech impediment.
Q: What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half mast?
A: They%26#039;re hiring.
Q: Why aren%26#039;t there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
A: Because they%26#039;re not going to work in the future, either.
Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
A: He walks around saying, %26quot;Yo%26quot;.
Q: What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A: A pimp.
Q: Why do drivers%26#039; education classes in redneck schools use the car
only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
A: Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Q: What%26#039;s the difference between a Southern zoo and a Northern zoo?
A: A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.
Q: How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say ****?
A: Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
Q: What%26#039;s the Cuban national anthem?
A: %26quot;Row, Row, Row Your Boat%26quot;
Q: What%26#039;s the difference between a Northern fairytale and a Southern fairytale?
A: A Northern fairytale begins, %26quot;Once upon a time...%26quot; A Southern fairytale begins, %26quot;Y%26#039;all ain%26#039;t gonna believe this ****...%26quot;
Q: What is the quickest way to clear out a men%26#039;s restroom?
A: Say, %26quot;Nice dick.%26quot;
Q: How do you know you%26#039;re leading a sad life?
A: When a nymphomaniac tells you, %26quot;Let%26#039;s just be friends.%26quot;
Q: What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus and a yeast infection?
A: An itchy, twitchy twat.
Q: Are birth control pills deductible?
A: Only if they don%26#039;t work.
Q: What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
A: If we don%26#039;t get some support soon, people are going to think we%26#039;re nuts.
Q: Why don%26#039;t bunnies make noise when they make love?
A: Because they have cotton balls.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster?
A: A cock that stays up all night.
Q: Why is being in the military like a ********?
A. The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate?
A: Miracle Whip.
Q: What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
A: A bingo machine.
Naughty one liners?
Well ,,,, I think you managed to slag everyone off,,
well done,,,,,funny, have a star,,,,
Reply:calling 1-800-GETALIFE should solve your feminist problems. Report It
Reply:lol
Reply:so funny!
:D
good jobbb,
love themm
Reply:lol
Reply:well.lol
Reply:some made me cry laughing,( my boyf particularly liked the one %26#039;why do women have vaginas?%26#039;.....!!,) , some weren%26#039;t so good though but 10 out of 10 for effort...x x x
Reply:Those are hilarious. :D More! More! :D
Reply:Good ones! Funny! 100!
Reply:good ones ..
I specially liked the Sum Ting Wong and C: # lol
Reply:rofpmsl have astar :-) 10/10
Reply:Lmao..
Top marks*
Why do men have there best ideas during s*x? Because their plugged into a f***ing genius
Reply:Marvelous! Thanks for sharing! I am going to have to use them @ the church potluck. lol
Reply:lol
Reply:Thanks! Half funny, half gross. Loved it.
Reply:top stuff mate!
only thing is, Only the people of Aberdeen tamper with woolly creatures. Besides they do it on cliff edges because there%26#039;s a bit of resistance when there backing up away from it!
Reply:haha
that was too long. whered u get all this? ;-)
Reply:sorry way to long, didn%26#039;t read all of them.. very funny tho
Reply:loadsa good 1%26#039;s there have a star =)
Reply:ha! lol
Reply:I%26#039;m giving you a star; half of them made me cringe but I liked that you slagged everyone off :) that%26#039;s the way to do it!!!!!!
Reply:well worth a giggle star ha ha ha ha v good,,,,,
tax credit
A. Ate something. (8.xxxxxxx....)
Q. But do you know what 6.9 is?
A. A good thing screwed up by a period.
Q. Did you hear about the new %26quot;morning after%26quot; pill for men?
A. It changes their blood type.
Q. What do Lifesavers do that a man can%26#039;t?
A. Come in eight flavors.
Q. What do cow pies and cowgirls have in common?
A. The older they get the easier they are to pick up.
Q. How can you tell a Sumo wrestler from a feminist?
A. A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.
Q. What%26#039;s six inches long that women love?
A. Folding money.
Q. What is the difference between erotic and kinky?
A. Erotic is using a feather....kinky is using the whole chicken.
Q. What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A. One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with.... the other is used to carry groceries.
Q. What is the new gay website address?
A. c : enter ### (see colon enter pound pound pound).
Q. What is the new O.J. website address?
A. slash slash backslash escape.
Q. What do gay men refer to hemorrhoids as?
A. Speed bumps.
Q. What%26#039;s got four legs and one arm?
A. A Rottweiler.
Q. How can you tell if your girlfriend%26#039;s frigid?
A. When you open her legs the lights go on.
Q. When does a cub become a boy scout?
A. When he eats his first Brownie.
Q. How does a Scotsman find a sheep in tall grass?
A. Very satisfying.
Q. Did you hear about the 150 lb. man who had 75 lb. testicles?
A. He was half nuts!!!
Q. What do you call a blonde grabbing at air?
A. Collecting her thoughts.
Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A: Ask your mom.
Q: How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A: Wiped his ***.
Q: How can you tell if you%26#039;re at a bulimic bachelor party?
A: The cake jumps out of the girl.
Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
A: Full.
Q: What%26#039;s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
A: Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
Q: How is a woman like a condom?
A: Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
Q: What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?
A: By the time you%26#039;re finished with the breast and thighs, all you have
left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
Q: How are tornadoes and marriage alike?
A: They both begin with a lot of sucking and blowing, and in the end you
lose your house.
Q: Why doesn%26#039;t Mexico have an Olympic team?
A: Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S.
Q: What%26#039;s the difference between love, true love and showing off?
A: Spitting, swallowing and gargling.
Q: What do you call two skunks that are 69ing?
A: Odor eaters
Q: Why do men name their penis?
A: They like to be on a first name basis with the one making most of
their decisions.
Q: What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
A: Snowballs.
Q: Why do women have vaginas?
A: So men will talk to them.
Q: Why do only 30% of men get into Heaven?
A: If it were more, it would be Hell.
Q: What is the new gay website address?
A: c : enter # # #
Q: Why do men like big **** and tight pussy?
A: Because they%26#039;ve got big mouths and little *****.
Q: What is the difference between ooooooh and aaaaaaah?
A: About three inches.
Q: Why don%26#039;t women have any brains?
A: Because they don%26#039;t have penises to keep them in.
Q: What two things in the air can make a women pregnant?
A: Her feet!
Q: What is the difference between a geneologist and a gynecologist?
A: A geneologist looks up your family tree and a gynecologist looks up your bush.
Q: Why can%26#039;t Miss Piggy count to 70?
A: Because she gets a frog in her throat at 69.
Q: Why did the bald man cut holes in his pockets?
A: So he could run his fingers through his hair.
Q: Whats the difference between a microwave and a woman.
A: A microwave doesn%26#039;t scream when you put a piece of meat in it.
Q: What do elephants use for tampons?
A: Sheep.
Q: Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A: A different bar.
Q: Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
A: They named him Sum Ting Wong.
Q: What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A: A speech impediment.
Q: What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half mast?
A: They%26#039;re hiring.
Q: Why aren%26#039;t there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
A: Because they%26#039;re not going to work in the future, either.
Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
A: He walks around saying, %26quot;Yo%26quot;.
Q: What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A: A pimp.
Q: Why do drivers%26#039; education classes in redneck schools use the car
only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
A: Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Q: What%26#039;s the difference between a Southern zoo and a Northern zoo?
A: A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.
Q: How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say ****?
A: Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
Q: What%26#039;s the Cuban national anthem?
A: %26quot;Row, Row, Row Your Boat%26quot;
Q: What%26#039;s the difference between a Northern fairytale and a Southern fairytale?
A: A Northern fairytale begins, %26quot;Once upon a time...%26quot; A Southern fairytale begins, %26quot;Y%26#039;all ain%26#039;t gonna believe this ****...%26quot;
Q: What is the quickest way to clear out a men%26#039;s restroom?
A: Say, %26quot;Nice dick.%26quot;
Q: How do you know you%26#039;re leading a sad life?
A: When a nymphomaniac tells you, %26quot;Let%26#039;s just be friends.%26quot;
Q: What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus and a yeast infection?
A: An itchy, twitchy twat.
Q: Are birth control pills deductible?
A: Only if they don%26#039;t work.
Q: What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
A: If we don%26#039;t get some support soon, people are going to think we%26#039;re nuts.
Q: Why don%26#039;t bunnies make noise when they make love?
A: Because they have cotton balls.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster?
A: A cock that stays up all night.
Q: Why is being in the military like a ********?
A. The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate?
A: Miracle Whip.
Q: What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
A: A bingo machine.
Naughty one liners?
Well ,,,, I think you managed to slag everyone off,,
well done,,,,,funny, have a star,,,,
Reply:calling 1-800-GETALIFE should solve your feminist problems. Report It
Reply:lol
Reply:so funny!
:D
good jobbb,
love themm
Reply:lol
Reply:well.lol
Reply:some made me cry laughing,( my boyf particularly liked the one %26#039;why do women have vaginas?%26#039;.....!!,) , some weren%26#039;t so good though but 10 out of 10 for effort...x x x
Reply:Those are hilarious. :D More! More! :D
Reply:Good ones! Funny! 100!
Reply:good ones ..
I specially liked the Sum Ting Wong and C: # lol
Reply:rofpmsl have astar :-) 10/10
Reply:Lmao..
Top marks*
Why do men have there best ideas during s*x? Because their plugged into a f***ing genius
Reply:Marvelous! Thanks for sharing! I am going to have to use them @ the church potluck. lol
Reply:lol
Reply:Thanks! Half funny, half gross. Loved it.
Reply:top stuff mate!
only thing is, Only the people of Aberdeen tamper with woolly creatures. Besides they do it on cliff edges because there%26#039;s a bit of resistance when there backing up away from it!
Reply:haha
that was too long. whered u get all this? ;-)
Reply:sorry way to long, didn%26#039;t read all of them.. very funny tho
Reply:loadsa good 1%26#039;s there have a star =)
Reply:ha! lol
Reply:I%26#039;m giving you a star; half of them made me cringe but I liked that you slagged everyone off :) that%26#039;s the way to do it!!!!!!
Reply:well worth a giggle star ha ha ha ha v good,,,,,
tax credit
Eco friendly wedding tips?
Hey all
I am planning a super eco friendly wedding, and am fast running out of ideas. here is what I am doing so far- please give me your input and more ideas!!
-local dj to cut down on gas used for his travel (same with the caterer and photograper)
-locally sourced food (from the caterer) and organic and free range when at all possible
-outdoor ceremony with acoustic music (no electricity needed)
-recyclable platesl, napkins, cutlery made from bamboo
-my gown is organic cotton
-the confetti being thrown is eco friendly and totally biodegradeable when it gets wet
-the confetti is being given out in seeded paper cones that grow flowers when you plant them
-no favors, a donation is being made to a local sick kids hospital instead (guests will be made aware of this by cards placed at their tables)
-invites are printed on %26quot;tree free%26quot; paper cards, postage being used is bought and a donation made to the world wildlife fund...
-flowers used are local and in season...
Eco friendly wedding tips?
This a growing trend and personally, I love it!
1) Maybe for wedding gifts you could ask for people to buy %26#039;Carbon Offset Points%26#039; so that your wedding can be a carbon neutral event.
2)You could use Soy or Beeswax candles for lighting, they have been shown to be less carbon producing that the standard petroleum candles.
3) If you wanted an alternative favor you could give a small seedling or seed packets as gifts.
4) Donate any left over food to a homeless shelter
5) Use local beer and wine producers for beverages, cutting down on transport costs and carbon emmissions.
Just a few suggestions.
Good luck with your earth friendly wedding!
Reply:What a great start! Some other ideas you may or may not already be doing -
Make sure all goods are fair trade (coffee, tea, chocolate, too), and that clothing used and things such as linens, etc. are sweatshop-free. Arrange to donate the dresses to a worthy charity in your area.
Use beeswax and/or soybean candles.
Make sure your and your attendants%26#039; hair and makeup are only done with organic products - whether you get them professionally done or DIY.
Use biodiesel vehicles for transport of the wedding party; buses for guests.
Have available a listing of charities for guests to donate to, in lieu of gifts.
Arrange to donate leftover food to a local shelter or food program.
Above all, buy your carbon credits!
https://www.econeutral.com/buycredits.ht...
Happy wedding! It sounds great.
Reply:It sounds like you have things basically taken care of.
You can also purchase vegan shoes (Natalie Portman just started a line)
I guess if you wanted to get a little crazy, you could have a bus take your guests from the church to the reception in order to car pool and save on gas from all of their cars...but I think that might be pushing it!
Reply:I think you have it pretty much covered. Maybe another idea would be to not have RSVP cards and to have people call or email with their RSVP. That way you%26#039;ll save paper and fuel (from mailing them).
Reply:I really have no other suggestions, but your wedding sounds awesome and inspiring! Goodluck with everything!
Reply:Using regular dishes (rented or from caterer) could be considered even better, since they are being reused rather than buying and recycling (the energy used to recycle is often more than the energy used to wash).
You can also purchase invitations made from recycled paper (see link below).
You don%26#039;t need to place cards at the tables for the donations, just make an announcement.
Don%26#039;t throw confetti at all....it makes a mess and its a waste of money
Give each guest an energy efficient light bulb, if they replace one light bulb in their home, this will counteract any travelling they do by car or plane to your wedding.
Donate leftover food to a shelter
Purchase used pre-crafted bouquets and flowers
Reusing is as important as recycling in GREEN. Renting tuxedos is reusing, renting or purchasing a dress is reusing and you can donate it when your done.
Reply:I think you have it prettymuch covered.
The only thing i can think of is to have it on a nice day so you aren%26#039;t tempted to use fans and whatnot
beauty
I am planning a super eco friendly wedding, and am fast running out of ideas. here is what I am doing so far- please give me your input and more ideas!!
-local dj to cut down on gas used for his travel (same with the caterer and photograper)
-locally sourced food (from the caterer) and organic and free range when at all possible
-outdoor ceremony with acoustic music (no electricity needed)
-recyclable platesl, napkins, cutlery made from bamboo
-my gown is organic cotton
-the confetti being thrown is eco friendly and totally biodegradeable when it gets wet
-the confetti is being given out in seeded paper cones that grow flowers when you plant them
-no favors, a donation is being made to a local sick kids hospital instead (guests will be made aware of this by cards placed at their tables)
-invites are printed on %26quot;tree free%26quot; paper cards, postage being used is bought and a donation made to the world wildlife fund...
-flowers used are local and in season...
Eco friendly wedding tips?
This a growing trend and personally, I love it!
1) Maybe for wedding gifts you could ask for people to buy %26#039;Carbon Offset Points%26#039; so that your wedding can be a carbon neutral event.
2)You could use Soy or Beeswax candles for lighting, they have been shown to be less carbon producing that the standard petroleum candles.
3) If you wanted an alternative favor you could give a small seedling or seed packets as gifts.
4) Donate any left over food to a homeless shelter
5) Use local beer and wine producers for beverages, cutting down on transport costs and carbon emmissions.
Just a few suggestions.
Good luck with your earth friendly wedding!
Reply:What a great start! Some other ideas you may or may not already be doing -
Make sure all goods are fair trade (coffee, tea, chocolate, too), and that clothing used and things such as linens, etc. are sweatshop-free. Arrange to donate the dresses to a worthy charity in your area.
Use beeswax and/or soybean candles.
Make sure your and your attendants%26#039; hair and makeup are only done with organic products - whether you get them professionally done or DIY.
Use biodiesel vehicles for transport of the wedding party; buses for guests.
Have available a listing of charities for guests to donate to, in lieu of gifts.
Arrange to donate leftover food to a local shelter or food program.
Above all, buy your carbon credits!
https://www.econeutral.com/buycredits.ht...
Happy wedding! It sounds great.
Reply:It sounds like you have things basically taken care of.
You can also purchase vegan shoes (Natalie Portman just started a line)
I guess if you wanted to get a little crazy, you could have a bus take your guests from the church to the reception in order to car pool and save on gas from all of their cars...but I think that might be pushing it!
Reply:I think you have it pretty much covered. Maybe another idea would be to not have RSVP cards and to have people call or email with their RSVP. That way you%26#039;ll save paper and fuel (from mailing them).
Reply:I really have no other suggestions, but your wedding sounds awesome and inspiring! Goodluck with everything!
Reply:Using regular dishes (rented or from caterer) could be considered even better, since they are being reused rather than buying and recycling (the energy used to recycle is often more than the energy used to wash).
You can also purchase invitations made from recycled paper (see link below).
You don%26#039;t need to place cards at the tables for the donations, just make an announcement.
Don%26#039;t throw confetti at all....it makes a mess and its a waste of money
Give each guest an energy efficient light bulb, if they replace one light bulb in their home, this will counteract any travelling they do by car or plane to your wedding.
Donate leftover food to a shelter
Purchase used pre-crafted bouquets and flowers
Reusing is as important as recycling in GREEN. Renting tuxedos is reusing, renting or purchasing a dress is reusing and you can donate it when your done.
Reply:I think you have it prettymuch covered.
The only thing i can think of is to have it on a nice day so you aren%26#039;t tempted to use fans and whatnot
beauty
Are these as bad as i think they are or are they funny?
1. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit
a fire in the craft it sank - proving once and for all that you
can%26#039;t have your kayak and heat it, too.
2. Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to
Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in
the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one,
naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
3. A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He
sidles up to the bar and announces %26quot;I%26#039;m looking for the man who
shot my paw.%26quot;
4. This guy goes into a restaurant for a Christmas breakfast
while in his home town for the holidays. After looking over the
menu he says, %26quot;I%26#039;ll just have the eggs Benedict.%26quot; His order
comes a while later and it%26#039;s served on a big, shiny hubcap. He
asks the waiter, %26quot;What%26#039;s with the hubcap?%26quot; The waiter sings,
%26quot;Oh, there%26#039;s no plate like chrome for the hollandaise!%26quot;
5. When she told me I was average, she was just being mean.
6. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist%26#039;s
Novocain during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental
medication.
7. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were
standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament
victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the
office and asked them to disperse. %26quot;But why?,%26quot; they asked, as
they moved off. %26quot;Because,%26quot; he said, %26quot;I can%26#039;t stand chess nuts
boasting in an open foyer.%26quot;
8. A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a
hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his
habit, and would always have the drink waiting at precisely
5:03 p.m. One afternoon, as the end of the work day approached,
the bartender was dismayed to find that he was out of hazelnut
extract. Thinking quickly,he threw together a daiquiri made
with hickory nuts and set it on the bar. The doctor came in at
his regular time, took one sip of the drink and exclaimed,
%26quot;This isn%26#039;t a hazelnut daiquiri!%26quot; %26quot;No, I%26#039;m sorry,%26quot; replied the
bartender, %26quot;it%26#039;s a hickory daiquiri, Doc.%26quot;
9. A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for
something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting
under a tree reading a book; the other was typing away on his
typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the
book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that
readers digest, and writers cramp.
10. There was a man who entered a local paper%26#039;s pun contest. He
sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of
the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
11. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of
them goes to a family in Egypt and is named %26quot;Amal.%26quot; The other
goes to a family in Spain; they name him %26quot;Juan.%26quot; Years later,
Juan sends a picture of himself to his mom. Upon receiving
the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also
had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, %26quot;But they are
twins - if you%26#039;ve seen Juan, you%26#039;ve seen Amal.%26quot;
Are these as bad as i think they are or are they funny?
Very funnie! here we grow cotton %26amp; tobacco!
LOL!
:)
Reply:they r still funny babe!!
Reply:funny
Reply:They are funny.
Reply:ha ha ha funny
thanks for a laugh
Reply:These are funny.
Reply:yes... its funny..
Reply:Yes.....
Very funny......
I can%26#039;t laugh anymore.....my tummy hurts...Hee hee
whimper...owww..hee hee
Reply:yes, YOU are very funny on that AVATAR! =))
Reply:The ancient jokes that have stood the test of time are always best. If only I hadn%26#039;t heard them time after time after....
Reply:they were good, didnt get a couple though
Reply:clever clever jokes. they are so bad they are superb! love %26#039;em!
Reply:Funny and good
Reply:You kidding me? These are great!
beauty
a fire in the craft it sank - proving once and for all that you
can%26#039;t have your kayak and heat it, too.
2. Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to
Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in
the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one,
naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
3. A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He
sidles up to the bar and announces %26quot;I%26#039;m looking for the man who
shot my paw.%26quot;
4. This guy goes into a restaurant for a Christmas breakfast
while in his home town for the holidays. After looking over the
menu he says, %26quot;I%26#039;ll just have the eggs Benedict.%26quot; His order
comes a while later and it%26#039;s served on a big, shiny hubcap. He
asks the waiter, %26quot;What%26#039;s with the hubcap?%26quot; The waiter sings,
%26quot;Oh, there%26#039;s no plate like chrome for the hollandaise!%26quot;
5. When she told me I was average, she was just being mean.
6. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist%26#039;s
Novocain during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental
medication.
7. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were
standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament
victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the
office and asked them to disperse. %26quot;But why?,%26quot; they asked, as
they moved off. %26quot;Because,%26quot; he said, %26quot;I can%26#039;t stand chess nuts
boasting in an open foyer.%26quot;
8. A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a
hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his
habit, and would always have the drink waiting at precisely
5:03 p.m. One afternoon, as the end of the work day approached,
the bartender was dismayed to find that he was out of hazelnut
extract. Thinking quickly,he threw together a daiquiri made
with hickory nuts and set it on the bar. The doctor came in at
his regular time, took one sip of the drink and exclaimed,
%26quot;This isn%26#039;t a hazelnut daiquiri!%26quot; %26quot;No, I%26#039;m sorry,%26quot; replied the
bartender, %26quot;it%26#039;s a hickory daiquiri, Doc.%26quot;
9. A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for
something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting
under a tree reading a book; the other was typing away on his
typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the
book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that
readers digest, and writers cramp.
10. There was a man who entered a local paper%26#039;s pun contest. He
sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of
the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
11. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of
them goes to a family in Egypt and is named %26quot;Amal.%26quot; The other
goes to a family in Spain; they name him %26quot;Juan.%26quot; Years later,
Juan sends a picture of himself to his mom. Upon receiving
the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also
had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, %26quot;But they are
twins - if you%26#039;ve seen Juan, you%26#039;ve seen Amal.%26quot;
Are these as bad as i think they are or are they funny?
Very funnie! here we grow cotton %26amp; tobacco!
LOL!
:)
Reply:they r still funny babe!!
Reply:funny
Reply:They are funny.
Reply:ha ha ha funny
thanks for a laugh
Reply:These are funny.
Reply:yes... its funny..
Reply:Yes.....
Very funny......
I can%26#039;t laugh anymore.....my tummy hurts...Hee hee
whimper...owww..hee hee
Reply:yes, YOU are very funny on that AVATAR! =))
Reply:The ancient jokes that have stood the test of time are always best. If only I hadn%26#039;t heard them time after time after....
Reply:they were good, didnt get a couple though
Reply:clever clever jokes. they are so bad they are superb! love %26#039;em!
Reply:Funny and good
Reply:You kidding me? These are great!
beauty
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